The Safe Harbor Method™
The Safe Harbor Method is a special process of communication which involves agreeing to follow the 3 Agreements and then alternate sharing and listening with your partner in 2 minute sessions using a timer. This process creates a safezone for deep connection with each other. It is transformative.
How it Works
Agree to the 3 agreements below. Alternate sharing and listening for 2 minutes with
the Relationship Timer. That’s it. Super simple and yet the start of something special.
the 3 agreements
Stop
If either person feels the conversation is getting too heated, you must stop.
You can say something like: “I need to take a break” or “let’s take a break.”
This is the most important step in creating the safety needed for a deeper connection with each other. Each person must respect the STOP.
Take a Break
After the STOP, get up and leave the room to cool down so you can come back and listen. Start with 10 minutes. Take 10 deep breaths. Then ask yourself four questions:
What am I feeling?
What do I want?
What do I think the other person is feeling?
What do I think they are wanting?
Then, return on time to continue sharing
or plan for more time.
Return to Listen
Use a 2 minute timer and don’t interrupt.
You must both use the 2 minute timer and you must not interrupt.
Both steps are critical.
If you’re not using both…. no safe harbor.